Richard Brome: The Sparagus Garden, A Comedie

One of the great Brome experts (is there more than one?) has told me more than once that I should write about The Sparagus Garden, but I doubt I will. All the same, I thought I'd set out a little Holzknechtian summary in case the folks over at Blogging the Renaissance would like to include it in their Holzknecht Redivivus. The play is part of a small sub-genre of place comedies set in specific London locales in the 1630s; it is supposed to have been very popular and have earned the gents of the King's Revels 1000 pounds (!), though Bentley considers this figure an exaggeration. It's got an allusion to Beaumont's Pestle, and perhaps a few other plays that I might write up for the Notes and Queries series.

The Sparagus Garden, A Comedie
Performed, 1635 at Salisbury Court; printed 1640 by J. Okes for Francis Constable.

Dramatis Personae

Gilbert [Goldwire]}
............}young Gentlemen and friends [brothers-in-law; friends of Samuel]
Walter [Chamlet]}

[Samson] Touch-wood}
..........}Old Adversaries, and Justices
Striker }

Samuel, Sonne to Touch-wood.
[Hugh] Mony-lacks, a needy Knight that lives by shifts [once Striker's son-in-law]

Brittleware}
...............}Confederates with Mony-lacks
Springe}

Tim. Hoyden, the new made Gentleman
Coulter, his Man.

Thomas Hoyden, Tim. Hoydens brother.

Sir Arnold Cautious, a stale Batchelour, and a ridiculous Lover of women.

A Gardiner.

Trampler, a Lawyer.

Curat.

Three Courtiers.

Annabel, Daughter to Mony-lacks, and Grandchild to Striker. [in love with Samuel]

[Fid] Friswood, her nurse; and House-keeper to [and former mistress of] Striker.

Rebecca, wife to Brittle-ware [niece of Friswood].

Martha, the Gardiners wife.

Three Ladies.



ACT ONE
Gilbert and Walter approach Touchwood to learn his feelings about a match between Touchwood's son, Samuel, and Annabel, the grand-daughter of his nemesis, Striker. They remind him that their own fathers had been important civic men, had quarreled, and had then been reconciled in a marriage between Gilbert and Walter's sister. Touchwood declares that he has disowned Samuel until he renounces Annabel and does some great offense to Striker. Gilbert and Walter comfort Samuel and plot some "witty" way to fulfill the wealthy father's demands and still match with Annabel. Mony-lacks comes to Striker, the father of his deceased wife, and suffers Striker's calumny. Striker will care for Annabel, his grand-daughter as long as Mony-lacks renounces any claim on her; otherwise he will expel her from his household and leave her on the hands of this destitute knight. After mentioning his part in promoting the Asparagus Garden scheme, Mony-lacks reveals that Annabel and Samuel have been meeting clandestinely and leaves [with Striker saying that his home is "no enchanted castle" to keep Mony-lacks from leaving; I note this minor parallel to All's Lost by Lust]. Striker confronts Annabel's nurse who claims that she made up the story of Annabel's love for Samuel to see if Mony-lacks would tell tales and in hopes that Striker would beat Mony-lacks from his house. After a warning that she must keep Annabel and Samuel apart, she tells her charge of the danger, as Samuel appears. He hands them a note with a plot to be reunited.

ACT TWO
Rebecca and Brittleware quarrel. They have been married five years with no children and she wants to be pregnant. Mony-lacks, who has been their lodger, hears her complaints and tells her that eating asparagus--a [phallic] aphrodisiac--in the wonderful new pleasure garden will help her to conceive. She departs and Brittleware and Mony-lacks plot their next move: their confederate, Springe, is bringing to town a country bumpkin who wants to become a gentleman. Tim Hoyden arrives and tells his story: his mother, a gentlewoman, gave birth to him in Somersetshire and in her will she maintained that her brother was a gentleman. She wanted her boy to become a gentleman himself, then visit his uncle, and so Tim has come to town with four hundred pounds. He will spend it on clothes, on establishing his credentials as a gentleman, and on being cheated so he can see how London's sophisticates live. Mony-lacks and his friends are happy to oblige: Brittleware, claiming to be a surgeon, says that Tim must have his base blood bled from him and Mony-lacks explains that a diet of delicacies, including asparagus, will replace his lost blood with ennobled new blood. Tim could not be happier. Meanwhile, Walter and Gilbert convince Touchwood that Samuel has impregnated Annabel and left her. Touchwood rejoices and after feigning a stern reprimand, gives Samuel a bag of money to travel to France and enjoy himself. Although he is sworn not to say anything about the pregnancy to anyone who doesn't tell him first, he confronts Striker and alludes to the pending disgrace, hoping to vex him to death. Striker returns home, hears from Friswood that Annabel is indeed pregnant, and threatens to throw her and the nurse out of doors. But Friswood blackmails him, reminding him that many years ago his own sister had been impregnated by an unknown gallant and that Striker had sent her away and kept her marriage portion for himself; if he throws out Annabel and the Nurse, she will reveal this fact and add to his own disgrace. He agrees to keep silent.

ACT THREE
The Gardiner and his wife Martha talk about the Asparagus pleasure garden they operate: costly meals, costly rooms, and great profits. Gilbert, Walter, and Samuel arrive but cannot get a room--Martha knows that she can get better rates by keeping her popular rooms for rendezvous between gallants and the wives of broken citizens. They set up in an arbor to wait for Walter's uncle, Cautious, a voyeur who likes to gaze on beautiful women but knows they are not honest and won't bother to marry. Gilbert spies Cautious, tells him that he must save his nephew from the bad influence of a poet [Samuel, introduced as "Bounce"] and help Walter to a good marriage. In a feigned quarrel between Bounce and Cautious, Walter takes his uncle's part, securing his admiration and determination to be helpful. Three graceful ladies come in and dance with three courtiers. Then Mony-lacks, Springe, Tim, Coulter, Rebecca, and Brittleware arrive. Rebecca and Brittleware retire to lounge to try the powers of asparagus. Mony-lacks and Springe discuss Tim's progress towards becoming a gentleman. It's true that he is almost broke and has made good progress. They persuade him to dismiss Coulter, who must return to Somerset and take service with Tim's clownish older brother [unbeknownst to Tim, his brother is his elder half-brother]. Rebecca returns unsatisfied and grows more frustrated as she sees city wives of her acquaintance in pleasantly blissful disregard dispensing the high fees demanded of Martha. As everyone departs, Martha pays Mony-lacks for all of the clients he has brought to her Sparagus Garden.

ACT FOUR
Tom meets Coulter before Striker's house. They enter and he tells [in a STRONG Somerset accent] how his [step] mother was Striker's sister and asks Friswood to acquaint Striker with this news. They withdraw as Touchwood enters to mock Striker. The Curate wheels Striker out from his sickbed and Touchwood gloats. Once Friswood scolds him for making light of Annabel's condition, Touchwood is freed from his oath and gloats even more. They nearly come to blows, but Tom and Coulter intervene. As Touchwood and the curate depart, Striker dismisses Tim until he can prove his relationship. Striker also feels renewed affection for his poor grand-daughter who has been abused by the Touchwood family and begins to reconcile with her. Cautious arrives to woo Annabel for Walter and Striker sings her praises while downplaying Walter's worth--he has a scoundrel's reputation and not a lot of money, not a good match for the virginal and timid Annabel who is better suited to be a nurse. Gilbert arrives with his arm in a sling and tells Cautious that Walter and Bounce had tricked him and that they had then fallen out because Walter had disgraced another virgin. Cautious declares his intention to marry Annabel himself. Meanwhile, at Brittleware's, Tim has learned the rules of gentlemanly behavior and now takes notes as Springe and Brittleware practice conceited greetings and backhanded compliments. Gil, Wat, and Sam observe and then enter. They mention that Rebecca has taken off in one of the new-fangled Sedan chairs and Brittleware goes after her. They consult with Mony-lacks about Cautious marrying his daughter, while trading barbs with Tim and his new conceited phrases. Tom and Coulter arrive and fight with Tim, but then he agrees to go inside and wait for Rebecca.

ACT FIVE
The attorney, Trampler, tells Touchwood about the marriage contract he has drawn up for Annabel and Cautious and offers to help Touchwood match Samuel instead. Touchwood resolves to vex Striker, either by ruining the match so that Annabel will be an unwed mother, or to befriend him since vexing Striker only makes him healthier. Gilbert and Wat arrive, planning to get Touchwood to break the match and are happy to see he already plans to; they just need to manage the timing. Tom and Coulter arrive to demand a warrant from Touchwood to arrest Mony-lacks and his crew; they were drugged at Brittleware's and when they revived everyone was gone and Tim's last set of clothes were there but Tim, Striker's nephew and son of Audrey, had vanished. Touchwood, Tom and Coulter, and Gilbert and Wat all head to Striker's to find Mony-lacks. The Curate, on his way to perform Annabel's marriage to Cautious, encounters Brittleware looking for Rebecca. They meet Trampler who says that Rebecca is at Striker's; as they depart, they find a Sedan chair with a woman's garment peeking out and Brittleware throws open the door expecting to find Rebecca. Instead he finds Tim, wearing Brittleware's mother's garments, being led to St. Giles. They all head toward Striker's. At Striker's Friswood and Rebecca have been dressing Annabel. Striker and Cautious arrive and send Fris and Rebecca to fetch her from her prayers. Mony-lacks arrives and threatens to undo the match of his daughter, takes a bribe of 40 pieces from Striker to stay silent, then tells Cautious that as Annabel's father he has already pre-contracted her for 40 pieces and will lose 100 if she marries someone else. Cautious asks Striker to pay the 100 pieces from the dowry he has promised and he does, grudgingly. Gil, Wat, Touchwood, Tom, and Sam arrive at Striker's. Touchwood promises to remain silent until the wedding is underway. While waiting, Touchwood asks for more information from Tom and learns that Striker's disgraced sister Audrey had fled to Somerset, married Hoyden, and that Hoyden had raised Tim as his own, revealing the truth to Tom on his deathbed. Annabel and her female attendants arrive for the wedding; she wears mourning. Eventually Fris and Touchwood's comments make it clear that she is pregnant and Cautious backs out of the wedding, but the lawyer tells him he has a commitment to see her wed or will lose his estate. Cautious offers Wat 1000 pounds to wed Annabel or find her a husband in "Bounce." Touchwood now reveals the basis of his quarrel with Striker: long ago, he loved Audrey and impregnated her before they wed; Striker kept her portion and banished her; Touchwood refused to wed her, hoping Striker would relent; during the stand-off, Audrey didn't understand Touchwood's motive and thinking herself disgraced, fled; Touchwood later married and had a son, Samuel; but now it turns out that Tim is actually his son by Audrey. As everyone is amazed by this revelation, Walter says he has persuaded Bounce to marry fallen Annabel, but Touchwood prevents this match saying that he will allow Samuel to marry Annabel to make up for his own disgraceful actions toward Audrey. Bounce reveals himself as Samuel and Annabel takes the pillow out of her gown, producing Samuel's letters that clear her of any disgrace. Tim now comes on stage with a jewel that had been hidden on his person, proving his relationship to his uncle Striker and now finding that he has a gentleman father in Touchwood. He shows off his gentlemanly behavior by insulting Striker. Chastised, Striker wishes to marry Friswood and make an honest woman of her. Rebecca and Brittleware reconcile too. Touchwood offers to raise Tom as a gentleman, without all the bleeding. They celebrate the new amity with wine.

FINIS

The Old Law: Or a New Way to Please You

On one of the blogs I enjoy reading (relatively anonymously, so far--I feel uncertain about returning to blogging), the community is creating an updated Holzknecht. I think that's a great idea. Since I just happened to be reading Middleton and Rowley's The Old Law, I thought I might write up a little synopsis of it. [ETA: I offered this little summary to the folks over at Blogging the Renaissance, and I am happy to say that they have added it to their Holzknecht Redivivus.]

Dramatis Personae

Evander, Duke of Epire
Cratilus, The Executioner
Creon, Father to Simonides
Simonides, A Young Courtier
Cleanthes, A Young Courtier (the hero)
Lysander, Husband to Eugenia, and Uncle to Cleanthes
Leonides, Father of Cleanthes
Gnotho, The Clown
Lawyers (2)
Courtiers (2)
Dancing-Master
Butler, Bailiff, Tailor, Coachman, Footman, Cook, Servants of Creon
Clerk
Drawer

Antigona, Wife of Creon
Hippolita, Wife of Cleanthes
Eugenia, Wife of Lysander, Mother of Parthenia
Parthenia
Agatha, Wife of Gnotho
Old Women who marry Creon's servants
Courtezan

Fiddlers, Servants, Guard, etc.
Scene: Epire

ACT I
In ancient Epire, the new Duke has passed a law that all men who reach their eightieth birthday (and all women who turn sixty), having outlived their usefulness to the state, will be euthanized. Simonides enters discussing the strength of this new law with two lawyers. He can hardly wait to get his hands on his inheritance, as two courtier friends of his have already done. Cleanthes laments the imminent demise of his father, but can find no way around the law. Creon and his wife arrive and Simonides puts on a show of grieving that today Creon turns eighty; old Creon can see through his son's feigned care. Leonides, accompanied by his virtuous daughter-in-law Hippolita, arrives and hears Cleanthes' sincere despair but accepts his fate because he has had a good life. Cleanthes and Hippolita hatch a plan to fake Leonides' death and hide him out in the countryside.

ACT II
Creon and his wailing wife appear before Evander to receive the death sentence. Simonides's courtier-friends congratulate him on his inheritance. Meanwhile a gaudy funeral procession crosses the stage, with Cleanthes and Hippolita rejoicing that Leonides has passed away of natural causes rather than under the executioner's blade. Simonides dismisses his father's former servants who must shift for themselves now. Young Eugenia comes on stage; she can hardly wait to be released from marriage to her much older husband, Lysander, and accepts the flirtations of the courtiers, especially Simonides, who hope to marry her and gain her wealthy husband's fortune. Her husband scolds her and departs. Her cousin, Hippolita, arrives and mistakes Eugenia's tears for genuine sadness over Lysander's approaching death and, to comfort her, reveals the secret that Leonides is not dead but is hiding in a hunting lodge. Maybe Eugenia would want to do the same for Lysander?

ACT III
Gnotho, who is married to an older wife, Agatha, tries to persuade the Clerk to amend the baptismal registry to make the date of her baptism in 1539, sixty years before the play's "present" [the play was written in 1618 however]. He meets the newly unemployed servants of Creon, explains how much profit is to be made from marrying 59-year-old widows, and wagers that he can make his fortune by marrying two in quick succession while getting rid of Agatha, who arrives and scolds Gnotho while being depressed by his determination to be rid of her. Eugenia receives the stylish Simonides and his friends, but Lysander arrives and attempts to prove his youthfulness by challenging the suitors to three feats of strength: he duels with one, out-dances a second, and drinks Simonides under the table. Cleanthes arrives, rebukes Eugenia as an undutiful wife, and scolds Lysander for not soberly acting his age. When Eugenia confronts Cleanthes, he accuses her of being a whore. To get her revenge, she heads off stage to inform Evander that Leonides is still alive.

ACT IV
Reveling in a tavern with a courtesan, Gnotho domineers the unemployed servants. Disguised Agatha arrives with several old women, who dance for and entertain these poor men. Cleanthes, at the hunting lodge with Hippolita, cares for Leonides. The sound of a hunting horn dismays him. Evander arrives and Leonides is discovered. Cleanthes rails against Hippolita, the only other person to know the secret. Eugenia arrives to gloat and Cleanthes argues back, but ultimately blames himself for provoking wicked Eugenia to use the information his wife had disclosed.

ACT V
Empowered as magistrates, Simonides and the Courtiers dally with Eugenia, pass judgment on Lysander who has reached eighty, and then as Evander arrives, prepare to pass sentence on Cleanthes and Hippolita for helping Leonides escape his due punishment. An extended scene ensues between Cleanthes, defending conscience and filial piety, and Simonides and his crew. As Cleanthes demands that judgment be passed, Evander intervenes (this is a tragicomedy after all) to reveal that none of the old men have been executed. Further, he has passed a new law that only sons who exhibit proper respect for their fathers can inherit their property. As Simonides watches his plans go up in smoke, Gnotho arrives, dragging Agatha along to execution, with his beautiful courtesan on his arm. The fact that the old law has been repealed, a kind of test, means that Gnotho will remain married to Agatha and Creon's old servants will remain married to the old widows they'd been pursuing, though Creon will now take his servants and their new wives back into his household.